A Rose By Any Other Name

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When speaking to Juliet about their family’s adversarial relationship, Shakespeare’s Romeo proclaimed,

“What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet”

The Bard’s basic message was that it doesn’t matter what something is called, what matters is what the object means. Is that true for all names? Even last names?

As many of you are aware, most brides take on their new husband’s last name to show family unity and solidarity. I did some research on the origins of this tradition and all I could really find is that it doesn’t have a clearly defined history. As far as I can tell, women have been taking their husband’s names since ~1450 B.C. That’s almost 3,500 years. It’s safe to say this tradition is ingrained in our culture.

Enter the 21st century and progressive men who don’t care what other people think - they want to make a powerful declaration of love to their brides. They aren’t afraid of challenging the patriarchal tradition in place by taking their bride’s name after marriage.

I think it takes a strong man to make this decision. Not because I’m tied to a name but because of the social ramifications that come with it. How will his coworkers respond? Will he be ridiculed? Will his friends make “whip” noises when he tells them? What about his parents? Chances are if they’re traditionalists, they will not approve. In fact, most state governments don’t see this as a viable option for grooms.

Currently, there are only six states in the nation who have the option for grooms to change their name as effortlessly as the brides (GA, HA, IA, MA, ND, and NY). In other states, it’s not as easy. It’s a time consuming and expensive legal process which may include signing a petition and appearing before a judge. Wow, talk about a double standard.

I agree with Ol'Bill - it doesn't matter what name is associated to the things I love...the name is merely a label. Whether I call my mother "Mom", "Mommy" "Ma" or by her first name, my feelings for her remain the same. So should it be for those who wish to change their name after being married. If Bob Jones wants to become Bob Smith because he's marrying Sue Smith, it should be as effortless for him as it is for her to become Sue Jones.

Thoughts?